Following his will.

Hard to believe I've been back a week already from Niger.  Before I left my Uncle told me you never really leave Africa, I know deep down he is right.  It's hard to close my eyes without seeing the faces, or open my ears without hearing the sound of Africa.  Deep down I know I will go back, must go back.  This week has been full of lots of questions.  Deep questions about what I'm doing now, what i want to to.  Questions about God's plan for my life.  I remember being so fired up after returning from Afghanistan.  Putting myself in debt taking classes.   I want to do the same now.  In my heart I want to enter the seminary, become a preacher.  But can I do this when I have a family that relies on my paycheck.  There are allot of question marks about my current job.  Will it be there next year?  Do I want to be here next year?  Would my heart be in it if I stayed.  It's hard for me to think that the Lord would take me to the places he has, allow me to see the things he has, place the desire in my heart that is there; without having a purpose for it.  Being a Christian means truly taking your desires out of the picture and allowing his will to be yours.  I learned this lesson at Stilwell.  If it had been my will, we would have stayed.  Instead we came to Perry.  If I hadn't of came here I would never of went to Africa. These dreams and desires would have never been brought back up.  I can now see the purpose and reason for coming to Perry, a year ago I was still questioning.  My faith was easy with Brother Monroe and Brother Haney, here it has struggled.  Teaching and Coaching were easy there, this last year has been tough.  But the truth is God brought me here for a reason.  Here I have been tasked with learning new skills, teaching new subjects.   Through God I was able to put up the schools website, i have also learned allot of lessons I might not have been able to learn in Stilwell.  Lessons that I know deep down have made me a different and stronger person.  I know now that true strength comes from being able to bow down on bended knee, look up into the heavens and pray for strength and answers.
        
Dear Lord I pray to you now that it is your will that guides me, I pray that through Grace I experience peace and patience.  I pray that your love flows through me and allows me to have a positive impact upon the students that I teach and the community that I am apart of.  Lord thank you for the many blessing you have bestowed upon me.  It is in your name that I pray, Jesus Christ, Amen.