You ever had one of those moments in time where you just wish time would freeze. I just had one. My little girl is only 1 day old, but I already feel she is growing and time is passing way to fast. I'm no longer getting teary eyed every time I hold her, just about 75% of the time. I was holding her just a little while ago and it was perfect. Everything was perfect. My beautiful wife was trying to sleep after a very very long day and night, my favorite cooking show was on (I haven't scene it since we got rid of Dish Network), everything was quite on the floor of the hospital in which we are staying and my little girl was staring up at me while I held her small little body in my arms. Things were just perfect. It was one of those moments were everything was at peace in the Universe and nothing else mattered except what was right before me. One of those moments you wish would last for ever.
In last Sunday's Sunday School Class, someone said that "Love" in the Greek means "Unconditional". Unconditional is the perfect word for what I was feeling at that moment. Staring at her tiny little hand latching onto my finger, staring down at her pink little body, (not even a day old yet); what I was feeling was Unconditional Love. My boy is two, I love him but he has already made me mad. Not sure if I was maddest when he gave me a black eye, by hitting me with the corner of his book; or fattened my lip, by hitting me as I was taking a nap on the couch. I did get a little mad at my step daughter when I caught her kicking my Basset Hound and the time she locked the neighbors daughter in the dog pen. But I love them Unconditionally.
Truth is I know my little girl is going to upset me, I know she will break my heart on occasion; just as I know that neither of my kids are perfect. In that moment, that one precious moment when I was sitting in the hospital holding my little girl. That one moment when I was staring at here tiny little hand trying to hold onto my finger, that one moment that will never be repeated; what was pouring out of my heart was unconditional love. My blood and her blood being the same, A Daddy / Daughter bond that will never be broken. Every pore of my body telling me that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing I wouldn't do to please her or bring a smile to my face. If I had to, I would bleed for her, lay my life down for this tiny little 6 pound 14 ounce beautiful girl. In that moment knowing that every time she hurt, every time she cried, it was my heart that would break.
I cried at that moment not because of the Love I was feeling for my little girl; but because it hit me that I too am loved. There is someone out there who loves me unconditionally, There is someone out there who not only would bleed for me and lay their life down for; but who has already done it.
When I tell myself I would bleed for this little one, Christ says "Look at my back, look at my feet, my hands, look at my scars; This I did for you". When I stare down at my little girls eyes, saying to myself there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, regardless of the pain it causes me. I feel eyes looking down at me from Heaven saying "I felt every blow, every single strike of the whip. That whip ripping at my flesh as I felt the blood running down my face; as the Roman Centurion beat me. This I did for you".
As I look down at her I smile at myself. I smile knowing that on my most tiring day, my toughest day at work; I can come home and there will be little hands reaching out to me, begging me to pick her up. (several sets actually). In this moment I feel other eyes staring down at me saying, "I was so tired. Tired when they spit on me, tired when they threw food at me, tired when they made fun of me and tired as I stumbled; feeling the weight of the cross bearing down on my shoulders, making my way up the hill; knowing that there I would die a horrible death. This I did for you."
These are the thoughts that made me cry in that moment. Thoughts not of the love I have for my new daughter, how I would lover her unconditionally; but thoughts of how Jesus loves me. We all have those moments we are not proud of. Moments we never would want our Dad's or Mom's finding out about. But there was one who was right there with us. With us, but unseen by us. One who was there when life was weighing us down, when we questioned God. When we cried out against him, questioning him, saying this is unfair. Maybe even saying "I hate you God for doing this". When we are honest with ourselves, I know we can each say "I've been there". When this happens there is, one there saying "I love you unconditionally. When you cry out against me; it is my hands that surround you, my hands that protect you. There is nothing I wouldn't do or haven't done for you." There is only one who can say this. His name is Jesus.
Africa 2011
Me in Niger, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
A Lesson in Suffering
Jeremiah 29:11-13
11)For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12)You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13)You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
One of the amazing things about the bible is that no matter what your situation in life is, or what type of moment your having; the Bible can reach out and grab you. This verse for me came at a crucial time; delivered to me by my Dad. To say this has been a rough month would be an understatement. For starters my wife is soon to be 8 months pregnant. This is a good thing, but it also brings on a whole new other set of problems. Worries about having another kid; How are we going to be able to afford one, pay off the bills etc. These are questions that keep you up at night, combined them with a wife who can't sleep and tosses and turns and at least to me; this means I don't get much sleep. In a normal situation these small problems would be ones that wouldn't really bother me too much. But when you throw in that both me and my wife have been told that we would not be rehired next year; well, the problem broadens. When problems come, normally I go running; crazy thing is we are having our second blizzard of the month. For those of you keeping score its as follows: pregnant sleepless wife, money worries, job worries, and two blizzards. Ya, my plate is pretty full.
I know that as Christians we are supposed to have "Faith", but sometimes you still have to wander. "What is God up to?", "Why does it have to be this way?". Sometimes it reaches a point when you feel like David yelling out in Psalms 79:5 "How long Lord? Will you be angry forever?" Truth is I try desperately to be strong, yet I always feel myself falling short. It would be easy for me to sit here and blog about what an evil person my principal is and blog about his many faults and weaknesses. In some ways I would like to do that, might even feel better after having done it. But would it really help anything. Would I sleep better at night? Doubt it. I'm really good at being angry, always have been. It's a strength that I have. But all anger does is leave one feeling depressed, bitter and helpless.
Every part of me wants to retaliate, but if I can't strike out at the one I feel has hurt me and my family, what can I do. I could burn some bridges, I could tell the community what I've learned about this man. Would this make anything better. Something tells me no. In fact it might only make things worse. In some small way I might feel just a tiny bit justified. But what would the long term effects be. What would others think. Some might feel good for me. Some might feel pity. But if my job as a Christian is to be an example of Christ, would I be doing that. What would my children learn from my reaction. We all suffer, the Bible tells us that. (Sorry Joel Olstein). If you have any question about that just read Habakkuk, Job, or 2 Corinthians; each of these books are fairly decent examples of suffering. I say fairly decent because their is one example which is truly better. That example is Christ, his suffering on the Cross for us, because of us, to exonerate us, to redeem us.
Isn't it awesome knowing we worship a God that not only talks about suffering; but has also been there and done that. A God that so loved us that he came to Earth in the Flesh and suffered something far greater than anything I have suffered. My big question is how can I take his example and apply it to my own life and my own circumstances.
First off how did Jesus treat the individual he felt betrayed him. He ate with him. When Peter tried to lash to defend Christ after Judas betrayed him John 18:11 tell us....
Jesus commanded Peter, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"
So my thoughts and desires to attack, to lash out; is an exact opposite of what Jesus did. Jesus even went so far as to stop one of his followers from lashing out. Jesus truly is a better man than me. But my question is why did he not. Mathew 26:52-54 spells it out....
52 Then Jesus told him, "Put your sword back in its place because all who take up a sword will perish by a sword. 53 Or do you think that I cannot call on My Father, and He will provide Me at once with more than 12 legions of angels? 54 How, then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?"
To me God is saying he could of retaliated, but if he had; the old testament would have been wrong. In fact everything about our faith would be wrong.
How am I supposed to take this. I see only one way. It is possible for me to lash out, but if I do the plans God has for me will not happen. What plans though. For me uncertainty or not knowing about the future is killing me but the bible also tells me in Jeremiah 29:11...
11)For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
How comforting is it knowing that God not only knows what is going to happen, but he has also planned it and the plans are not for disaster but future and hope. So maybe I'm supposed to stop laying there at night worrying about the future, and smile knowing that God has something in store for me. Smiling I can do, but with a mind like mind and years and generations of some of the worlds best worriers; what can I do when my smile stops and in spite of my bets intentions I do worry. Jeremiah 29:12,13 spells it out....
12)You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13)You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
Here the Bible is saying not only to pray, but to get into the word. So that is what I promise to do.
Why am I going to do it. #1) Jesus did it #2) The Bible says to do it #3) Sleeping in the same bed as a Wife who is 8 month pregnant; I'll be up anyway, so I have the time and #4) What have I to lose
Here is the thing, I'm not in this alone; I not only have a wife, 2 and 8/9ths kids; but I also have the students, friends and family that are watching me go through this. God doesn't do anything by accident, he doesn't do it out of meanness; He does it because it is his plan and his will. I've got to believe me and my family will come out of this in the positive. My suffering can not pull me down, it has to lift him up. In lifting him (Jesus) up: I will be lifting me, my family and me testimony up for all to see.
Jesus, Give me and my family the strength to get through these times of suffering. Knowing that I will stumble, I will fall; make it so that I can come to you through prayer and the Word and find new strength. It is your will and not my own that is important. To show that I am strong, I must first show humility and weakness. Let me not lash out at my enemies, but eat or commune with them just as you did. Let my suffering be an example to others.
In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen
11)For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. 12)You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13)You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
One of the amazing things about the bible is that no matter what your situation in life is, or what type of moment your having; the Bible can reach out and grab you. This verse for me came at a crucial time; delivered to me by my Dad. To say this has been a rough month would be an understatement. For starters my wife is soon to be 8 months pregnant. This is a good thing, but it also brings on a whole new other set of problems. Worries about having another kid; How are we going to be able to afford one, pay off the bills etc. These are questions that keep you up at night, combined them with a wife who can't sleep and tosses and turns and at least to me; this means I don't get much sleep. In a normal situation these small problems would be ones that wouldn't really bother me too much. But when you throw in that both me and my wife have been told that we would not be rehired next year; well, the problem broadens. When problems come, normally I go running; crazy thing is we are having our second blizzard of the month. For those of you keeping score its as follows: pregnant sleepless wife, money worries, job worries, and two blizzards. Ya, my plate is pretty full.
I know that as Christians we are supposed to have "Faith", but sometimes you still have to wander. "What is God up to?", "Why does it have to be this way?". Sometimes it reaches a point when you feel like David yelling out in Psalms 79:5 "How long Lord? Will you be angry forever?" Truth is I try desperately to be strong, yet I always feel myself falling short. It would be easy for me to sit here and blog about what an evil person my principal is and blog about his many faults and weaknesses. In some ways I would like to do that, might even feel better after having done it. But would it really help anything. Would I sleep better at night? Doubt it. I'm really good at being angry, always have been. It's a strength that I have. But all anger does is leave one feeling depressed, bitter and helpless.
Every part of me wants to retaliate, but if I can't strike out at the one I feel has hurt me and my family, what can I do. I could burn some bridges, I could tell the community what I've learned about this man. Would this make anything better. Something tells me no. In fact it might only make things worse. In some small way I might feel just a tiny bit justified. But what would the long term effects be. What would others think. Some might feel good for me. Some might feel pity. But if my job as a Christian is to be an example of Christ, would I be doing that. What would my children learn from my reaction. We all suffer, the Bible tells us that. (Sorry Joel Olstein). If you have any question about that just read Habakkuk, Job, or 2 Corinthians; each of these books are fairly decent examples of suffering. I say fairly decent because their is one example which is truly better. That example is Christ, his suffering on the Cross for us, because of us, to exonerate us, to redeem us.
Isn't it awesome knowing we worship a God that not only talks about suffering; but has also been there and done that. A God that so loved us that he came to Earth in the Flesh and suffered something far greater than anything I have suffered. My big question is how can I take his example and apply it to my own life and my own circumstances.
First off how did Jesus treat the individual he felt betrayed him. He ate with him. When Peter tried to lash to defend Christ after Judas betrayed him John 18:11 tell us....
Jesus commanded Peter, "Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"
So my thoughts and desires to attack, to lash out; is an exact opposite of what Jesus did. Jesus even went so far as to stop one of his followers from lashing out. Jesus truly is a better man than me. But my question is why did he not. Mathew 26:52-54 spells it out....
52 Then Jesus told him, "Put your sword back in its place because all who take up a sword will perish by a sword. 53 Or do you think that I cannot call on My Father, and He will provide Me at once with more than 12 legions of angels? 54 How, then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?"
To me God is saying he could of retaliated, but if he had; the old testament would have been wrong. In fact everything about our faith would be wrong.
How am I supposed to take this. I see only one way. It is possible for me to lash out, but if I do the plans God has for me will not happen. What plans though. For me uncertainty or not knowing about the future is killing me but the bible also tells me in Jeremiah 29:11...
11)For I know the plans I have for you”—this is the Lord’s declaration—“plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
How comforting is it knowing that God not only knows what is going to happen, but he has also planned it and the plans are not for disaster but future and hope. So maybe I'm supposed to stop laying there at night worrying about the future, and smile knowing that God has something in store for me. Smiling I can do, but with a mind like mind and years and generations of some of the worlds best worriers; what can I do when my smile stops and in spite of my bets intentions I do worry. Jeremiah 29:12,13 spells it out....
12)You will call to Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. 13)You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.
Here the Bible is saying not only to pray, but to get into the word. So that is what I promise to do.
Why am I going to do it. #1) Jesus did it #2) The Bible says to do it #3) Sleeping in the same bed as a Wife who is 8 month pregnant; I'll be up anyway, so I have the time and #4) What have I to lose
Here is the thing, I'm not in this alone; I not only have a wife, 2 and 8/9ths kids; but I also have the students, friends and family that are watching me go through this. God doesn't do anything by accident, he doesn't do it out of meanness; He does it because it is his plan and his will. I've got to believe me and my family will come out of this in the positive. My suffering can not pull me down, it has to lift him up. In lifting him (Jesus) up: I will be lifting me, my family and me testimony up for all to see.
Jesus, Give me and my family the strength to get through these times of suffering. Knowing that I will stumble, I will fall; make it so that I can come to you through prayer and the Word and find new strength. It is your will and not my own that is important. To show that I am strong, I must first show humility and weakness. Let me not lash out at my enemies, but eat or commune with them just as you did. Let my suffering be an example to others.
In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Ephesians 1: 5 Daddies Smile
I got to watch a neat video the other day from one of the girls I went to school with. It was a video of her husband in China meeting the little boy they were adopting for the first time. It was one of those things you watch and catch yourself thinking about later on throughout the day, and then throughout the week. It was the first thing that popped into my mind when I started thinking about today's verse. Ephesians 1:5 tells us that...
(5) Having predestinated us into the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.
When I think about the video I find myself wondering when did the little boy actually become part of their family. Legally I would imagine it was when papers were signed. But the look on the father's face tells me that he loved that little boy before he ever met him. Maybe this love sparked when the couple first talked about adopting or maybe it occurred when they saw his picture. Perhaps it occurred while they were dating and the topic of kids came up for the first time. Truth is that all of these answers may be correct. I do know that when the camera showed the fathers face, there was love there.
When I first saw my little boy I remember my heart just blowing up with love for him. The first time he held my finger that love grew. Even today, when we were playing peek-a-boo under the blanket I felt that love swell inside . I can honestly say my love grows for him a little more every day, even on the days he hits me with a block, or cries cause I won't play with him. This verse states that "Having predestinated us". I think the "pre" here is important. I didn't start loving my boy on the day he was born. I remember loving him when my wife told me she was pregnant. I remember loving him the first time I heard his heart beat and that love grew when I saw my first ultrasound of him. I loved him before he was even born. Just as God loved us and knew us before we were born. Ephesians 1:4 tells us this....
(4) According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him
The use of the term predistinated, to me says that this adoption wasn't thought up on the day it took place. God wasn't sitting up in Heaven with his jaw dropping surprised because we turned our hearts over to him. God knew we were going to be adopted into his family. How did he know? that's easy, our God is an all knowing God. The use of the term "Predestinated" only supports this.
Romans 8:15-16 states....
(15) For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry Abba Father.
(16) The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit; that we are the children of God.
To me this is a powerful verse that only backs up what is stated in Ephesians 1:5. The spirit of adoption, adoption being a legal action; our adoption into the body of Christ has to be Baptism. It is in this formal action that we become part of the family, that is the family of Christ. It is through that adoption that we become children, as is spelled out in Romans 8:16; children that cry out Abba Father. Abba is also another interesting word, in the Greek it means "Daddy". Daddy is what my little boy calls me. He calls me that out of love, he calls me that knowing that I would do anything to help him.
There is another little boy, the boy I talked about in that video, he too has a Daddy. That look I saw in his Daddies face I imagine is the same one that appears on my own. Just as I loved my son before I ever saw him, I know that Dad loved his little boy too, loved him before he formally adopted him. Just as both of us loved our sons, our spiritual father loved us too; loved us before we were even born. Isn't it great, isn't it comforting knowing that one day we will look up into the face of our father and say Abba Father. Why will we do this? Because it states in Ephesians 1:5 "according to the good pleasure of his will". That smile that is on my face when I see my little boy, the face that was smiling when I watched that Dad in the Video looking at his little boy; That will be the same smile I see on my Father, my spiritual fathers, face when I stare up at him in heaven. That's what Daddies do.
(5) Having predestinated us into the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will.
When I think about the video I find myself wondering when did the little boy actually become part of their family. Legally I would imagine it was when papers were signed. But the look on the father's face tells me that he loved that little boy before he ever met him. Maybe this love sparked when the couple first talked about adopting or maybe it occurred when they saw his picture. Perhaps it occurred while they were dating and the topic of kids came up for the first time. Truth is that all of these answers may be correct. I do know that when the camera showed the fathers face, there was love there.
When I first saw my little boy I remember my heart just blowing up with love for him. The first time he held my finger that love grew. Even today, when we were playing peek-a-boo under the blanket I felt that love swell inside . I can honestly say my love grows for him a little more every day, even on the days he hits me with a block, or cries cause I won't play with him. This verse states that "Having predestinated us". I think the "pre" here is important. I didn't start loving my boy on the day he was born. I remember loving him when my wife told me she was pregnant. I remember loving him the first time I heard his heart beat and that love grew when I saw my first ultrasound of him. I loved him before he was even born. Just as God loved us and knew us before we were born. Ephesians 1:4 tells us this....
(4) According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him
The use of the term predistinated, to me says that this adoption wasn't thought up on the day it took place. God wasn't sitting up in Heaven with his jaw dropping surprised because we turned our hearts over to him. God knew we were going to be adopted into his family. How did he know? that's easy, our God is an all knowing God. The use of the term "Predestinated" only supports this.
Romans 8:15-16 states....
(15) For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry Abba Father.
(16) The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit; that we are the children of God.
To me this is a powerful verse that only backs up what is stated in Ephesians 1:5. The spirit of adoption, adoption being a legal action; our adoption into the body of Christ has to be Baptism. It is in this formal action that we become part of the family, that is the family of Christ. It is through that adoption that we become children, as is spelled out in Romans 8:16; children that cry out Abba Father. Abba is also another interesting word, in the Greek it means "Daddy". Daddy is what my little boy calls me. He calls me that out of love, he calls me that knowing that I would do anything to help him.
There is another little boy, the boy I talked about in that video, he too has a Daddy. That look I saw in his Daddies face I imagine is the same one that appears on my own. Just as I loved my son before I ever saw him, I know that Dad loved his little boy too, loved him before he formally adopted him. Just as both of us loved our sons, our spiritual father loved us too; loved us before we were even born. Isn't it great, isn't it comforting knowing that one day we will look up into the face of our father and say Abba Father. Why will we do this? Because it states in Ephesians 1:5 "according to the good pleasure of his will". That smile that is on my face when I see my little boy, the face that was smiling when I watched that Dad in the Video looking at his little boy; That will be the same smile I see on my Father, my spiritual fathers, face when I stare up at him in heaven. That's what Daddies do.
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