You ever had one of those moments in time where you just wish time would freeze. I just had one. My little girl is only 1 day old, but I already feel she is growing and time is passing way to fast. I'm no longer getting teary eyed every time I hold her, just about 75% of the time. I was holding her just a little while ago and it was perfect. Everything was perfect. My beautiful wife was trying to sleep after a very very long day and night, my favorite cooking show was on (I haven't scene it since we got rid of Dish Network), everything was quite on the floor of the hospital in which we are staying and my little girl was staring up at me while I held her small little body in my arms. Things were just perfect. It was one of those moments were everything was at peace in the Universe and nothing else mattered except what was right before me. One of those moments you wish would last for ever.
In last Sunday's Sunday School Class, someone said that "Love" in the Greek means "Unconditional". Unconditional is the perfect word for what I was feeling at that moment. Staring at her tiny little hand latching onto my finger, staring down at her pink little body, (not even a day old yet); what I was feeling was Unconditional Love. My boy is two, I love him but he has already made me mad. Not sure if I was maddest when he gave me a black eye, by hitting me with the corner of his book; or fattened my lip, by hitting me as I was taking a nap on the couch. I did get a little mad at my step daughter when I caught her kicking my Basset Hound and the time she locked the neighbors daughter in the dog pen. But I love them Unconditionally.
Truth is I know my little girl is going to upset me, I know she will break my heart on occasion; just as I know that neither of my kids are perfect. In that moment, that one precious moment when I was sitting in the hospital holding my little girl. That one moment when I was staring at here tiny little hand trying to hold onto my finger, that one moment that will never be repeated; what was pouring out of my heart was unconditional love. My blood and her blood being the same, A Daddy / Daughter bond that will never be broken. Every pore of my body telling me that there was nothing I wouldn't do for her, nothing I wouldn't do to please her or bring a smile to my face. If I had to, I would bleed for her, lay my life down for this tiny little 6 pound 14 ounce beautiful girl. In that moment knowing that every time she hurt, every time she cried, it was my heart that would break.
I cried at that moment not because of the Love I was feeling for my little girl; but because it hit me that I too am loved. There is someone out there who loves me unconditionally, There is someone out there who not only would bleed for me and lay their life down for; but who has already done it.
When I tell myself I would bleed for this little one, Christ says "Look at my back, look at my feet, my hands, look at my scars; This I did for you". When I stare down at my little girls eyes, saying to myself there is nothing I wouldn't do for her, regardless of the pain it causes me. I feel eyes looking down at me from Heaven saying "I felt every blow, every single strike of the whip. That whip ripping at my flesh as I felt the blood running down my face; as the Roman Centurion beat me. This I did for you".
As I look down at her I smile at myself. I smile knowing that on my most tiring day, my toughest day at work; I can come home and there will be little hands reaching out to me, begging me to pick her up. (several sets actually). In this moment I feel other eyes staring down at me saying, "I was so tired. Tired when they spit on me, tired when they threw food at me, tired when they made fun of me and tired as I stumbled; feeling the weight of the cross bearing down on my shoulders, making my way up the hill; knowing that there I would die a horrible death. This I did for you."
These are the thoughts that made me cry in that moment. Thoughts not of the love I have for my new daughter, how I would lover her unconditionally; but thoughts of how Jesus loves me. We all have those moments we are not proud of. Moments we never would want our Dad's or Mom's finding out about. But there was one who was right there with us. With us, but unseen by us. One who was there when life was weighing us down, when we questioned God. When we cried out against him, questioning him, saying this is unfair. Maybe even saying "I hate you God for doing this". When we are honest with ourselves, I know we can each say "I've been there". When this happens there is, one there saying "I love you unconditionally. When you cry out against me; it is my hands that surround you, my hands that protect you. There is nothing I wouldn't do or haven't done for you." There is only one who can say this. His name is Jesus.
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